-
Mashup Score: 1389Bored Riot Cops Break Up Calculus Class - 4 day(s) ago
LOS ANGELES—Kicking down the unlocked classroom door after listlessly wandering around campus, bored riot cops reportedly broke up a calculus course at the University of California, Los Angeles, on Tuesday. “Hey guys, look—there’s some students in there,” said Los Angeles Police Department Lt. Thomas Larkins, who led…
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, Infectious DiseaseTweet
-
Mashup Score: 445
NEW YORK—Emphasizing that it was their only option amid the rampant protests that had erupted on campus, Columbia University announced Monday that it had given students the option to finish classes from prison. “Given the current political turmoil and the many safety hazards it poses, all current students will be…
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, Critical CareTweet
-
Mashup Score: 140Tesla Lays Off Entire Team Behind Brakes - 9 day(s) ago
AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “As we continue to rightsize the Tesla workforce, we have come to the decision that stopping the car is no longer a critical…
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, Future of MedicineTweet
-
Mashup Score: 5827
WASHINGTON—As mounting campus protests and arrests over the Israel-Hamas war threatened his fragile electoral coalition, advisors to President Joe Biden assured him Friday that this would blow over once all Gazans were dead. “Just lie low, let a few thousand more bombs drop on densely populated areas, and you’re…
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, CardiologistsTweet
-
Mashup Score: 140
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America’s finest news source.
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, CardiologistsTweet
-
Mashup Score: 36Best Practices For Policing Protests - 12 day(s) ago
While police are well trained to shoot unarmed civilians, plant evidence, and file for overtime, dealing with larger-scale events like arresting several hundred college students can be more daunting. The following are the best practices law enforcement should follow when clearing political protests and demonstrations.
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, CardiologistsTweet
-
Mashup Score: 76Scientists Discover Birds Lied About Being Related To Dinosaurs - 3 month(s) ago
ITHACA, NY—In a shocking revelation that left the entire ornithological community reeling, Cornell University scientists reportedly discovered Tuesday that birds had lied about being related to dinosaurs. “For decades, birds literally looked us in the eye and claimed they descended from theropods—and it was all a…
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, Critical CareTweet
-
Mashup Score: 3177Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying - 3 month(s) ago
AUSTIN, TX—A star who has experienced a meteoric rise in right-wing circles, 28-year-old conservative phenom Mason Finley is known solely for wearing a Nazi armband and crying, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Finley amassed millions of conservative viewers on his Discord channel, where the up-and-coming young GOP figure…
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, CardiologistsTweet
-
Mashup Score: 335Pros And Cons Of Allowing Food Aid In Gaza - 3 month(s) ago
Dozens of Israeli protesters are currently blocking food trucks from entering Gaza, where 2 million people are on the verge of famine. The Onion examines the pros and cons of allowing international aid organizations to deliver food to Gaza.
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, CardiologistsTweet
-
Mashup Score: 721Super Bowl Confetti Made Entirely From Shredded Concussion Studies - 3 month(s) ago
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America’s finest news source.
Source: www.theonion.comCategories: General Medicine News, CardiologistsTweet
RT @TheOnion: Bored Riot Cops Break Up Calculus Class https://t.co/nmY7sL4ZNH