WASHINGTON, D.C. — During a balloon-bedazzled spectacle on the front steps of the White House, unifying and decent President Biden reiterated that the giant, oversized check from Burisma that he held in his hands was right-wing misinformation.

ATLANTA, GA—Calling brand new things racist—that no one would ever have thought could be racist—is fun, and everyone loves it. But as each new day people breathlessly inform us of the racist history of things like crossword puzzles and punctuality, scientists are warning of an impending catastrophe.“At this current rate of coming up with new things that are racist,” warned racism scientist Frank…

ANAHEIM, CA — In an effort to slow the rise of frightening, right-wing extremism, the state of California has announced a new mandate to close all gyms and fitness centers for two weeks.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Hollywood critics, actors, and producers are reportedly confused by Sound of Freedom, an action thriller produced by Angel Studios and starring Jim Caviezel, because it depicts child sex trafficking as a bad thing.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Joe Biden’s pledge during the 2020 Presidential Election to restore decency and integrity to the White House has been fulfilled, as testing revealed the cocaine found on the premises this week was truly of the highest quality.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — New White House janitor Günter Hiden received high marks for punctuality after arriving early Wednesday to clean up the leftover cocaine that had been previously discovered in the White House’s famous West Wing.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — New White House janitor Günter Hiden received high marks for punctuality after arriving early Wednesday to clean up the leftover cocaine that had been previously discovered in the White House’s famous West Wing.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Joe Biden’s pledge during the 2020 Presidential Election to restore decency and integrity to the White House has been fulfilled, as testing revealed the cocaine found on the premises this week was truly of the highest quality.

U.S. — With Pride Month ending and July 4th around the corner, millions of rainbow flags across the country are being taken down and replaced with American flags, causing liberals to scream and run away in terror.